We are like anchored boats. We can move around in our comfort zone but the anchor is stopping us to move any further. It is requires effort to take steps towards the change, in the beginning it might feel like you’re swimming against the current. You might have several layers of resistance to overcome before attaining a long-lasting result. It will help if you anticipate resistance, identify its source and reasons, and modify your efforts to manage the issues of change to ensure the success of your change efforts.
But why do we resist even the changes we want? I’ve listed below three further questions that will help you to find your reason:
What message comes to my head when I think about the change?
Negative thoughts are a way to sabotage your efforts to change; they keep you stuck in the “same old”. Instead of encouraging ourselves to change, we might be telling ourselves that we won’t be able to make it… We might have limiting beliefs that we are not even fully aware, these beliefs are the source of the feeling what we can or cannot do.
What am I afraid of?
Resistance to change may be rooted in fear. Doing things in the same routine, predictable manner is comfortable. We are in our comfort zone and change would require taking a step to unknown territory. We might have a fear of failure, fear of success, fear of others’ reaction, fear of rejection… You name it.
What does it give to me stay like this?
Resistance to change may be related to hidden benefits that we get by staying as we are… You might be surprised what you find when you start digging for the answer.
Discovering what has been really stopping you to change is a starting point to a journey to self-discovery and a way forward. Once you have found the reason, it is losing its power over you and you start moving steadily forward.
You can also always ask if the choice that you are making is taking you closer or further away from your goal. Yesterday I was feeling tired and didn't feel like going running, I would have preferred to stay on the sofa. Then I asked myself a question – whether staying on the sofa was a choice of self-love or of self-sabotage – it was obvious that going to running would make me happier as this way I would complete my exercise goal for the week. This choice empowered me and made me feel good about myself.
Love and Light to your days!